Why Life Sucks

Well. This has been an interesting month. Let's recount, shall we?

1. Asked crush to homecoming (rose=$3.99, discount=15%, happiness=priceless).

2. Got turned down by crush (not because of preference, but because of parent's rules).

3. Somehow fall out of favor with my crush within 4 days of asking. Now she doesn't like me anymore. We're still friends, but it's a little bit different. She says it's awkward. But we'll get over it.

4. Get super stressed out because of homecoming and all the organizational work that I was involved in. I got to be Superman on the parade float. Did I say "got?" I mean, "was forced."

5. Went to homecoming with some friends. Had lots of fun, danced with my crush for one of the two (FREAKING TWO!!!!!!!!!!!) slow songs. Danced with other people lots (finally discovered how to "grind"). And yeah. Heard enough stupid rap to last me a lifetime.

6. Working still. Getting harder as the year is going by. I hate having no time to do anything anymore. I don't even have the free time to sacrifice for homework. Nothing is getting done.

7. Becoming seriously depressed because I never get to see my friends and don't think it's going to let up any as the year goes by. God, I hate school. I just wish it would go away. And leave my friends.

---

But yeah. There's probably more. But I just can't think of anything.
I seriously feel like I'm never going to be able to date. At least, not seriously. Nothing I do never gets me anywhere. Add that to the fact that I'm not "popular" or anything really approaching attractive. I wish I could have someone tell me otherwise, and really be able to prove it.

But to do that, they'd have to have feelings for me to show that they meant it, but that won't happen anytime soon. So, I'm just going to sit in a corner. And maybe cry. I don't know. Maybe it'll just be me, drowning in my thoughts.

And my grandma is in the hospital now. Her blood pressure isn't being stable. And she's, like, 82. So I'm pretty worried. My other grandma died when I was 13, and my grandpa died when I was 15. Each two years and a month apart. And now we're coming up to that time again. I don't really believe in that kind of stuff, but I'm still really worried.

Add again that my parents are worrying about me because I'm spending more and more time on email (the only semi-entertainment I get) and more procrastination from my studies. And that I have a 90% in chemistry, even though I'm doing better now. So I've got that pressure.

My life is eat, sleep, work, school, homework, more homework, work, eat, finish homework, sleep little bits, and school again. No break. I don't get breaks. I'm smart. I can "handle it."

I hate this. Why can't it get easier? Why can't somebody realize what's happening to me? Why doesn't somebody like me?

And why do I feel guilty for even attempting to complain?



It's my life. I have to deal with it. So I guess I have to bury my tears deep down and suck it up. Because I have a future to prepare for.

But what future is worth the pain that I go through now?




Striker Jacen

Life Can Turn Around

My life has gone completely full-circle in the past week. I now am super happy to go to school, so I can see a certain somebody. I love the fact that this person approached me about their feelings, and just came right out and said it. I love that she did that. I can't believe how incredibly brave she is, but I know that I'm the luckiest guy in the world. She's super sweet and the cutest girl I've ever met. I've had a pretty big crush on her, and now it's out in the open. She didn't come to school today because she had a really sore throat and can't talk, and I was very sad the rest of the day. But we had a great talk. And I feel 100% comfortable talking to her about this stuff; usually it's too awkward to do in person. But now, we can talk and chill and support each other. We've only had such a conversation once, but it was so special and nice. I can't stop thinking about her and whenever I see her, my heart beats so fast and I can't concentrate. It's a feeling that I love and I hate, because it makes me feel so weird and so cool.

Striker Jacen

About To Kiss

Well, here I am. After 4 hours of work, I'm back at home. You know, 4 hours used to be a lot to me. But now the time flies by. I can actually keep my mind in a happy place that doesn't make me so bored.

But anyway. I finished my ACT homework and I'm eating Macaroni and cheese, while watching Star Wars: Episode V. I love Star Wars. I am always amazed at the new things I notice everytime I watch. I never get tired of it. The level of detail and thought is amazing. And the philosophical connotations are very intriguing and cool.

But anyway. I start soccer next week. Double practices, which means Monday-Friday I go from 8 till 10 in the morning and then again at 4 till 6 at night. Might not seem like much, but it is exhuasting. Doesn't help that it's at the hottest time of the year. Oh well. And then school the week after. I'm actually really excited for school to start. I'm finally going to be an upperclassman, which lots of little freshmen to terrorize. And I will be able to drive to school somtimes, which will be nice. And lots of my friends are in classes with me. Which is nice. English is going to rock, but I'm still going to have to do more work, since it's AP. The most stressful year of my adolescent life starts next week. I'm...anxious.

And maybe this year things will finally go right for me. At least, concerning relationships. I'm going to ask somebody to homecoming this year. I didn't freshman year, because I went with my friends, and I didn't sophomore year, because I really didn't want to spend the money. Hopefully that will pan out, and afterwards, who knows what will happen? I don't mean that night, I'm saying longer term. Maybe I'll find the time to date. Or not. Probably not. Things haven't been going my way for the past 4 years, and I don't see any reason why they'll let up now.

But yeah. That's my life update for now. I'm going to go wash my dish, then come back up here, do some emailing, and then watch some more of my movie. I'm just up the part where they kiss, and Luke is eating in Yoda's house. Exciting!

Sincerely,


Striker Jacen

Geniousness

So here I am, just sitting in my den, typing out a blog, drinking an A&W root beer, checking my "the MySpace" (I like to add the "the" because it sounds cool), watching episode 2 of Samurai Jack on Toonami Jetstream, and listening to Maroon 5. Oh, and doing my ACT homework.
Talk about multitasking!

Anyway. I'm taking an ACT prep class this summer. I find it really easy. I don't get super good scores, by my standards, but I'm enjoying it nonetheless. Today (and the past two weeks) have been math tests and those are usually an easy grade. Although as the tests have gotten harder, I've been getting one or two more wrong than I usually do. I really want to get a great grade on the real thing, so I'm going to have to bust my butt to concentrate.

Tonight, I got 56 out of 60, which when you extrapolate is a...*Checking back of book*...33. Hmph. I usually get better than that at home. Grr....

Oh well. Not sweating it.


Sincerely,
Too Noble For My Own Good,

Striker Jacen

Introduction to 2 Noble

In this post, I present 2 Noble. The title bar of your internet window shows you the full title, which I thought up because it pertains to my life quite frequently. Do you ever find that your conscience makes everything more complicated and difficult? That if you could not care about other people and be a jerk like everyone else, you'd be happier? That's how I feel sometimes.

Anyway, back to subject. I have started this blog for the sole purpose of keeping myself amused. I actually didn't know that Blogger was free until I looked at the site a bit and decided to create this blog. I intend to update as often as I am able and as my mood/schedule/weather permits. It will be used for...well, anything I feel like posting. Events in my life, my feelings at any given time, weird pictures, funny stories, poems; you want it, you got it.

If you want to contact me, email me at the address listed. Otherwise, leave me some funny comments and links to cool stuff. You never know, I just might post them here for the entire internet community (meaning whoever reads my blog. Meaning a fat, bald guy from Australia who has no job. And yes, I did just make fun of you, intelligent reader. Please forgive me. And save me from the offended Australians) to see.

So, yeah. That's it for this post. At least the introduction. If you ever feel like talking, just drop me a line. Real simple.

Okay. Bye!


Sincerely,
Too Noble For My Own Good,

Striker Jacen



And yes, I did take that picture of the panda. That was a fun day.